I have been listening to your broadcasts for several months now and I just love you so much! I just absorb your teaching like a sponge. I was born again sometime in 1998. I was very narrow in my walk with God for several years. Then, I slacked. Really bad. Had an affair, got divorced. Even went as far as to question if God was even real! I recently have reignited my relationship with the Lord, PRAISE THE LORD! I missed him so much! I still fall behind sometimes, well I feel like I do. I know He wants me to pay more attention to him and be in The Word more. But it is so good to be back. I strive to be more attentive to Him everyday.
I just had to email you to let you know something. Along with the cd I ordered you sent me two other cd's. First I want to say THANK YOU so much I know you didn't have to do that. I love my pen and bumper sticker as well. The small personal hand written note was a very special touch and I hope you can feel my appreciation as you read this. SO, I have to tell you the story about when I opened it. I was very excited to get it and when I saw the Rob Smith cd I was even more excited! I had just also received my Crystal Campbell cd I had ordered too! Now I have both and I love them! I was looking at all my stuff as I pulled it out and I came to the ...Anxiety, Panic, and OCD Disorder cd.
I stopped dead in my tracks. I stared at it for what seemed like a full 3 minutes. It probably wasn't but it felt like it. I read the title 10 times at least. I looked up and said to God "You told her to send this didn't you!!!!!!!!" I smiled in bewilderment! My mind said "what? no. Really? God REALLY?" I did that for a few minutes and then He had me read the title again. I was thinking, oh she probably sends this cd to everyone who orders the talk with children cd because we are obviously riddled with anxiety and panic about the soon to come turmoil and getting their child through it. And then it jumped out at me, the OCD. Then I heard, no not everyone obsesses!!!! I had this visual of you putting my package together and praying over it asking God what I needed and what he wanted me to hear! I know you did it Anita!!!! I laughed and laughed as I just stared at it!
You see I have struggled with anxiety and panic disorder for years!! I have periods of time, months, years, that I go being just fine. Then I will have periods of time where the anxiety all but kills me. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder in my 20's but it started way before that. I remember being a child and being obsessed and panicked that I had breast cancer! I didn't even have breasts yet! I was probably 6 or 7! That is how my anxiety always surfaces is the fear of a horrible disease or terminal illness. If I have a weird symptom I automatically think I have cancer. OR anything horrible. It becomes an obsession and every pain or twitch I have is fatal in my mind. I have had this on and off for years.
It's always different symptoms and the doctors can never find anything to explain them. Recently I have been struggling yet again. The doctors have unofficially diagnosed me with Fybromialga/CNS/FE. Which I have learned alot about.
My headaches have been daily again and this time I have eye pain and blurred vision. And of course I have worried myself sick thinking I am dying. MRI's show nothing relevant. One of my biggest fears is leaving this earth and having my son be traumatized. And I really don't want to suffer either. lol SO, that's my story and I just want to thank you and thank God for using you.
Just so you know God has used you to raise up the passion inside me for Him again. I know he is soon to send Jesus to collect us and I "anxiously" lol in a good way, await his return!!! What a glorious day it will be! NO more worry, illness, fear, stress, heartache or anything negative at all!!!! Praise God!
I am going to close now although I could go on and on for a good while! But know that I dearly love you and your family.
Thank you Anita, in Jesus name... J
J, God never intended you to be stuck in the same emotional place for the rest of your life having only seasons of seeming relief before the next bout of fear strikes again.
Your Heavenly Father not only wants you saved but healed and delivered from decades of emotional captivity and bondage so that you can live as the strong and fearless woman of God He has created you to be. To live without the wounds, scars and memories of the past. Your wounds have gone untreated for too long and they need to be removed. Your Heavenly Father has another purpose for you dear J that includes a new vision for your life. Be
convinced now that from this moment forward God is going to lead you into an entirely new direction in your life in Christ.
J, you have been hindered to being healed and made whole not being able to
envision your life without emotional pain and mental struggle. Years of distress
can take their toll as we know in the Bible concerning the lame man who had been
sick for 40 years. (John 5:2-9). Let me ask you a question dear J: Why do
you think Jesus asked this man if he wanted to be healed? It was clear the man
was crippled, handicapped and struggled for decades. Perhaps Jesus wanted to
hear a willingness from the voice of the man himself. The man answered Jesus not
yes or no but how "no man" would help. Jesus' response is priceless as The "Son
of Man", as He tells the lame man, "Rise, pick up your bed and walk".
You see, you can be in a bad condition for so long that you can become
complacent or even content in it. When God wants to take your pain from you, you
struggle with Him for it. You're in a tug of war about it. You may ask, "How can
this be?" I will tell you why. You've been thinking and talking about your pain
for so long that you've tied your identity to it. You are afraid that if you
lost it you would know longer know yourself and to you this is a scary thing
even though living like this is dreaded by you, at least after all these years
of struggle you are in a place to know what to expect. In other words you won't
be disappointed. You believe you have some form of control over it even though
when it comes it makes you feel completely out of control. Do you see the cycle?
Do you see the lie?
Your Heavenly Father J is asking you to see beyond your pain. See beyond the
feelings of fear, hurt, pain and emotional despair and distress. If you are
willing He will give you a new vision, His vision for your life in Him. I will
help lead you into asking Him for this right now:
Pray with me:
Dear Heavenly Father, You have just opened the eyes of my understanding in a
whole new way that I have never seen before and You are right. These words have
penetrated my soul and spirit like a sharp 2-edged sword. Father, I understand
that vision is not like sight. Vision confirms an unseen reality. I have only
known one reality and that is the one I have been subjected to for years. But
since I prayed to You to give me a new life, to make me born again I now see
that I no longer have to be bound by the former reality but can embrace and receive
the new one You have for me. This is the True reality. I no longer want years
of wounding and despair to block my ability to see myself the way You do. I no
longer want the strongholds of sinful emotions, memories and feelings to rule my
everyday life. Set this captive free. I now see that You have a new "now" for me
other than the one I have grown accustomed too. Show me Father what this is,
what the new me in You looks like. Rise me above from my view of myself into
Your view of me. This may be mind-blowing because of how different Your vision
of me will look like compared to the one I have known but I want it. I want it
now. I ask that You have Your precious Holy Spirit to rule my mind, my soul and
my spirit. I know this is the only way faith can be exercised to see who I truly
am in you to be manifest. Activate Your vision Father in me, in every part of my
being. Activate Your Holy Word in me in ways I have never known. Release me in
Your purpose for me. Have it be that the days, weeks and years I have seen and
felt affliction will melt away and be a fading memory only to be used by Your
mighty hand for testimony and to bring others to freedom and wholeness. Yes
Father, I want to be healed and made whole and I believe You are able and will
do this for me J.
In Jesus name, Amen.
Praise be to God! Your sister in Christ, Evangelist Anita Fuentes