In the summer of 2005 just a few months after I surrendered my entire life to Jesus I started to attend a Christian church for the very first time in my life. It was just not any church I picked. Growing up in the Catholic church I had no idea God was going to lead me to a Christian church but I knew for sure He no longer wanted me to attend the Catholic church I was attending. After waiting three whole months for God to show me where He wanted me to go I found myself driving into the parking lot with a big rugged cross meeting me at the entrance. This was the very first time I drove unto a church other than a Catholic one. As I walked into the huge sanctuary the presence of God was literally tangible during the sound of a choir singing. The music was loud, the place was dim, hands of hundreds of people were lifted in the air and the very first words that uttered out of my mouth were, "I'm home".
It wasn't the church I was saying I was home to but the presence of God Himself.
After attending services at my new church I heard the Pastor say towards the end of the service, "if anyone would like to receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit come forward after service." A tremendous thrill of excitement hit me like never before. You see I was hungry for God and whatever He had to offer. I was a perfect example of being thirsty and hungry according to the scriptures.
Not having any spiritual leadership besides God Himself I didn't have a thought, "was this of God" nor did I question what the baptism was. The only way for me to describe it at that time was the fact that I had an inward knowing and a great excitement that this was God and I was going for it full speed ahead.
I will add that I am glad of the exorbitant amount of time spent alone with God. I didn't have anyone who may have known "more" than me try and talk me out of receiving this blessed gift at that time.
Has a line of people formed to the right and left of me men and women of leadership started to make their way to each person. I saw them laying hands, praying in English and then praying in the unknown language of tongues. As I saw them inching their way closer I grew even more excited and blessedly anxious. I started to hear some of the people to my right speak in an unknown language and I just knew I was next!
Finally as the person next to me was being ministered to receive this gift the next couple laying hands on the people came up to me and asked me if I wanted to receive the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. With great excitement and utter joy I said a resounding, "YES!"
They then stated how I was to "yield" to the Spirit of God and allow God to speak His language, tongues, through me as I "yield" my tongue to Him. They stated for me not to speak English or Spanish but to just "let it flow". I nodded in agreement and as they laid their hands on my forehead I closed my eyes and waited. Seconds that seemed like hours passed by as no manifestation took place.
As they continued to pray they would say in between their prayers over me, "just start to move your tongue, don't speak English, don't speak Spanish, just flow with the Spirit" I started to think, "how do I flow? What the heck does yield mean." I went from very excited to very nervous. "Should I say something...what should I do...oh Lord help me say something...." I thought.
After a few minutes of no manifestation they stopped praying. The lady said, "well don't worry honey, some receive it right away some don't receive it till much later." She went on to cheer me up by saying, "Don't worry your not going to hell. I thought I was when I first didn't receive it I thought I was going to hell but don't worry honey...your fine" she said with a I feel sorry for you smile. By this time I was dumbfounded by her words and extremely saddened and confused by the whole experience that had just taken place.
"What happened"? I thought as I left the church tears welling up too quick for me to make it to the car on time before they fell. As I drove home I sobbed heavily, crying and asking the Lord, "Lord, why didn't I receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit? I really wanted the Baptism Lord....what happened....what does yield mean...." I asked all of this in between great sobs. As I turned onto my neighborhood I was too emotional to go home. If I did my husband would wonder what happened at church that I came home a mess. He wasn't yet saved at the time so I didn't need anything to help him remain that way.
As I pulled into the elementary schools parking lot just several yards from my apartment complex I parked into an empty space put the car in park and continued to sob and weep with my head low so that no one would see me.
After what seemed to be several minutes of asking the Lord "why" in between tears and sobs the voice of the Lord spoke to my born again spirit for the first time that I could recall up until that time. It was so distinct that I immediately stopped crying when I heard these words, "Look at what your saying"
Next thing I know I realized that the words that came out in between my sobs were no longer English vocabulary but speaking in tongues! Speaking in new tongues!!! I was shocked!!! I couldn't believe it! I WAS SPEAKING IN NEW TONGUES!!! I laughed! I cried! Happy, joyful tears I cried and I continued to speak. I didn't want it to stop nor did I want it to go away...and you know what beloved it hasn't. It will NEVER go away and neither have I stopped. HALLELUJAH!